I'm swearing off children

Yep, been on of those days. The first time the notion of tying my tubes has ever come into my mind, as I'm attempting to pin down a 10 mo old with an elbow in the rib with one arm while I aim at getting cream in the right place with the other. It takes no less than 10 minutes to change this kid's diaper, it's like nothing I've done before.. trust me, it burns calories.

EVERYTHING with Rye is a struggle. I put off EVERYTHING with him. Even seemingly simple things like wiping off his face after a meal? Don't even think about it.. you must schedule time in your day for tasks such as this. I feel like a side show just getting him dressed.. yes mothers know dressing a baby is not easy.. less easy as they become mobile, but not all kids are this kid. I chase him around the 2 sides of our bed that aren't against a wall.. from side to side, getting a shirt over his head on one turn, an arm in a sleeve the next.. as we know, the diaper comes last.

I am exhausted. Those of you with more than 4 kids (said with love), I don't know how you've maintained or tricked yourself into thinking you've maintained sanity, because after 4 I know I have lost mine. But hmm, do crazy people ever realize they are crazy? I don't think so, as they are thinking with a crazy mind. My friend Kim (she is so much wiser than I), told me 4 was the magic number.. the point at which not only should you be done, but have pushed the limit. I didn't know if I believed her, after all I love lots of kids and a lot of things that comes with having lots of kids. I'm here to say she was dead on. She told me not long ago.. as I probably mentioned the baby itch (it comes and goes), she told me to give it time. I'm here to say she was dead on.

As I sit here typing and noticing my nasty too long of nails,that are in desperate need of filing... and 2 of my children behind me wrestling and on the verge of hurting the other one AGAIN (it's coming in 1, 2, 3, 4.... it's coming, trust me), and think of my hair that could stand a washing because I can't remember the last time I did it (crying commenced, see told ya it was coming), the couch that has turned into one gigantic laundry hamper because the need for that has outweighed the need for a place to sit, the fact that I haven't had a single meal today and it is approaching 2 pm. That is not new, as a meal for me ususally consists of whatever I can pick at as I stand in the kitchen doing 1 to 2 other things. Oh, unless I wait until bedtime for all said children to be quietly asleep in their bed (yeah RIGHT) so I can sit and enjoy my food.

..............................................

I realize wow, what have I taken on. Sure I love them, I would give my life any day of the week for any one of them but my lord, I'm drained. Am I allowed to be? It doesn't really matter if you say yes, because it's not like anything will make me less drained but I hope I'm allowed to be, because well, I am. I have long lists of things I want to do.. with the kids, for the kids, with the house, for the family. It doesn't get touched because by the end of the day, I am still trying to catch up to the day!

It will get better eh? That's what Kim says too.. I don't know if I believe her.

And if anyone wants to borrow a 2.5 yr old, I have one that thinks she is too cute for her own good. Is more vindictive than any grown woman I have ever met, and plays us like she's an expert in the field. She also stomps, pouts, hands on hips, bites, slaps, pinches, kicks and screams at anyONE or anyTHING that gets in the way of her mental plan.

Notice I left out the other 2 kids, I've run out of time and am too tired to write another book.

Yep, been one of those days... and it's still early. Sigh.